My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
