i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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