this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
