You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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