friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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