Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize