Screwed.edu
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
