My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
