try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
