its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
