I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
