For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
