Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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