You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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