Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So squirting runs in the family.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
God I need to hump something, right now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
