Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize