We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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