So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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