Soap is not a condiment
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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