I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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