Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize