Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we made out on top of his cat.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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