I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
