it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
