sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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