my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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