I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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