Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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