They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
