I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
