That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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