***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
