oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
