Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
