I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
