hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
