Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
