You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
