we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i now understand why vodka
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize