It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
