Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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