And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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