Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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