Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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