You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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