I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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