ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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