I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
