Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
