the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
