I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
