how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
