I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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