i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Little spoons don't ask big questions
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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