we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
