i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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