You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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