hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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