there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I had to cum in my sink.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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