I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
