i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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