He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
